I should probably start with the weather, that is the done thing in this country and meteorology is notoriously metal in my mind.

There was mud, lovely mud. Yes I am reviewing the quality of mud having experienced it at various festivals. This was good quality mud, it was sticky, not slippery when wet and the Download staff dealt with it well, and the site was well covered with straw and wood chips overnight.

This was mud the better for moshing in and keeps you upright after a few drinks, which were easily purchased thanks to the well-publicised cashless system. Personally I did not experience any issues, being served a JD & coke in about 3 seconds certainly made me happy and tipsy. That is the downside, it was far too easy to buy drinks this way.

I now sound like some kind of inebriated puddle jumping Peppa Pig fan. I went for the music too I promise. As a Metal Hammer Golden God winner sporting ears on my head I probably am qualified for this, however it's a little out of my comfort zone doing this using words instead of photographs so bear with me! Also as it's Download I'll be using some of those curse words.

So here are a few of my highlights, up first Body Count, Ice-T's band, or rather as the man pointed out himself, Ice Mother F*ckin' T.

I thought I was just going in the tent to move my ass as Body Count's song Bitch in The Pit suggests one does. However after Ice T's little speech on how men have grown vaginas I also pondered what it means to be a man, if his use of misogynistic language negates the intent of his lyrics because not everyone listens that well… and moved my ass.

A positively angelic dressed in white ensemble tiptoed around the flowers and played some lovely songs to a multi-coloured poncho wearing damp crowd. I nearly said the word moist, good start, using one of the most hated words ever. I do apologise.

As if they tiptoed, despite appearing to us like butter wouldn't melt Faith No More were their usual cocky funky rocky selves encouraging us to 'f*ck hippy style'.

The last time I was at Download I was on stage with Rage so I rather enjoyed Muse finishing off Stockholm Syndrome, lyrically possibly my favourite Muse track, with some Township Rebellion riff action.

The tracks from the new album Drones, despite the drone ban, went down very well but I think the biggest crowd response went to Plug In Baby, maybe Cydonia too. I saw a field of people more than happy to see them headlining.

I personally couldn't turn off the photographer in me and admired the camera work and the choice of black & white.

Photo: Danny North

The Darkness as the secret band lured me into to the tent for the whole thoroughly enjoyable set. I don't care if it's apparently not cool, it's bloody fun dancing with strangers in the crowd, all attempting to hit those high notes whilst Justin does so effortlessly and amusingly. I was seriously impressed how good his voice is live.

One of the few on my list, the not shit list, was L7, a band I never thought I'd get to see. This was when I expected to ponder gender equality issues unlike previously with Body Count!

As the crowd helicoptered tampons in their direction they put on an amazing set considering they played their first in 18 years just a couple of weeks ago. I hope their comeback is inspiring, I'd like to see more women playing Download in future. You never know, some of the young girls I saw in the crowd singing along to L7 maybe be up there themselves in 20 years. I hope so.

Photo: Andrew Whitton

I caught the end of Slash… Sweet Child of Mine brought on the rain and the singing as I headed over to check out The Ghost Inside over from LA. Apparently they'd been preparing for the visit to the UK by watching The Inbetweeners!

Oh so much energy and angst. Lead vocalist Jonathan explained the feelings behind each song before the audience went bonkers. Many happy bloodied nosed people were rescued from the front before they jump back in to do it all again.

So long, farewell, auch wiedersehen, goodbye is how Mötley Crüe were introduced for their final ever festival performance as I warmed myself with the burning hot coals of the Lebanese Street Food stall. It was a classic Crüe set with a cover of Anarchy in the UK just for our benefit. They left us with an encore of Home Sweet Home.

Photo: Andrew Whitton

I've left the self proclaimed King of Partying Andrew WK until last. Whose inspirational instructions I followed to the letter in that blue tent in the muddy field that Saturday afternoon. I certainly felt better for it.

His song titles could sum up the whole of Download to be honest.

We Want Fun! It's Time To Party! I Get Wet! Party Hard! Ready To Die.

Article: Tracy Morter